well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
