I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
