Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize