I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I AM VODKA MAN
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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