somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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