So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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