my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
