I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
