My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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