Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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