Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
