Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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