All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
