More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
