I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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