i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Randomize
