dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
