Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize