Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
