Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
