I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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