Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
