Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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