Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
