This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
