i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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