He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
