we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
