Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
