You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I didn't notice because vodka
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
