You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
