he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
