Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
