In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
