And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
