p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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