FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
