Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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