Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
