I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just tell him i said nine months
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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