thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
