and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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