I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to calm my uterus...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
jump out the window naked night went bad
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
