I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
