she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
