sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
