True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
