We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
