As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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