I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
