Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
