i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
