i already hear my dad disowning me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
