but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
