His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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