super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
