Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
