Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize