Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
