You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
