The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
