The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
