I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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