Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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