why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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