WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
